21.
I have a husband and two toddlers that I love deeply and would give my life for.
But I often fantasize about running off and traveling the world. Not having to wake up every morning to a 2 year old and 1 year old while my husband soundly sleeps just sounds like pure bliss to me.
I would never do it, I just wish I had done it before I settled down.
22.
I’m 28 years old and still struggle reading analogue clocks
23.
I just started drinking again. I would have been 2 years sober in January.
24.
I only wear a tie and jacket when I’ve been feeling really upset and fed up with life. That way I have at least one thing to brighten my day. I have been dressing up everyday for more than two weeks now…
25.
I’m unhappy in my marriage, but still love my wife. I think if we met today we wouldn’t even date, much less be married but the thought of leaving her for my own happiness makes me sick to my stomach. She constantly says how happy I make her, how much she loves me, that she couldn’t live without me. And I love her back, we are just so different.
We got married young because “God was guiding us to do so.” Our responsible adult figures told us it was smarter to wait but we (and our pastor) knew better. We did a bunch of premarital counseling, so we actually have a very solid base for our marriage, we have just changed in political views, personal views, leisure activities, movie interests, religious beliefs (unbeknownst to her on that one), and just about everything else. There’s very little common ground any more. I can say we both enjoy watching anime together and listening to audio books of her choosing as we fall asleep (I’ve tried to recommend some and a few podcasts but they didn’t work for her).
We haven’t had sex in months and she recently discovered she’s a-romantic and is fine with basically never having sex. I’m not like that at all.
She doesn’t work at the moment and we are in financial stress because of it, but I still want her to be able to spend money on herself because it helps with her depression (legitimately helps, shes spending money on hobby supplies which give her a sense of accomplishment). Despite me working 50+ hour weeks I still do a majority of the cooking and cleaning due to her mental health. But I still love her dearly.
I’m just unhappy. I care for her, I WANT to be with her, I’m just not happy. I feel like I put in more effort than she does, but she is so appreciative and I know it isn’t malicious on her part, I just enable the behavior. She’s seeing a therapist (newly because of finances) but I don’t think I can afford one for myself or couples therapy.
If you made it to the end, thanks for reading my ramblings.
Edit: 1. My wife described herself as aromantic because she gets repulsed by SEEING romantic acts. She actively seeks out kisses, hugs and cuddles from me on a regular basis. After looking into it more I don’t think she’s actually aromantic based on her behavior, she seems more romance-averse specifically when viewing those acts
2. My wife recognizes that she doesn’t do a fair share of the work and it eats her up and contributes to her depression. I’m not blaming her for not doing enough, but that doesn’t take away the fact that I do still have to do more than my share. She is actively trying to improve herself for our relationship which is a big part of the reason I’m still with her. But I’m still unhappy in this moment in time.
3. We both know we need couples counseling, it’s just not on the table for us at the moment. Honestly just getting it off my chest and having the opportunity to talk with some of you amazing Redditors has helped me a bit already. It’s no replacement for individual therapy but it’s a good boost to give me strength to keep on until we CAN get to therapy for me and us together.
26.
I’ve tried so hard to not be my mom and not be like her that I started doing things she did, and lying to myself and everyone around me, just like she does. One year of therapy down, and I’m trying really hard to put a stop to my bad patterns.
27.
I should be job searching, because I need to leave my job soon due to life changes, but I can’t bring myself to care. I just procrastinate with video games and meaningless tasks.
28.
i havent done a single assignment this semester, i havent even gone to class. i dont know why im doing this.
29.
I’ve been passively suicidal For 7+ years now and most days I wish I had a completely different life, because I don’t want to live mine anymore.
I just feel like I’m suppose to have died 7 years ago. I tear up a lot when I’m thinking about it too long. I love a lot of my life. But I can’t imagine wanting to live it.
30.
This month marks ten years since my mother died. Even though I recognize that she was a broken person with a lot of issues and no strength to face them, and it isn’t entirely her fault, I’m glad she’s gone, in an almost hateful way.
