11.
My friend once told me he wasn’t too concerned about using birth control because everyone knows the girl can only get pregnant if they both come at the same time. His gf was pregnant 3 months later.
12.
I remarked that it’s odd that we associate rabbits with EGGS for Easter. I jokingly said we should make it an Easter platypus because unlike rabbits they lay eggs.
Then someone overheard this and said “wait… no, rabbits DO lay eggs.”
This turned into a two minute argument over whether or not rabbits lay eggs. And then when she finally accepted that she was wrong, she was so irritated that she asked all of her coworkers if they thought the same as her.
To the best of my knowledge she’s the only one.
13.
A customer came in today and apparently had a an excuse for not wearing a mask. We offered curbside pickup for their safety and the safety of others. They let us know that they work at a covid clinic, so they had “literally 0% chance of contracting it”.
14.
Co-worker at my last job during lunch:
Him: “The moon landings obviously didn’t happen”
Me: “Thats awkward I was bouncing lasers off the mirrors we left there at Uni.” (Physics Graduate)
Him after pausing: “Theres loads of ways they could have got there, aliens could have plonked them down”
Man literally believes in aliens but not the moon landings and is a manager at a large company
15.
The spork is “the devil’s utensil” because it is the amalgamation of the masculine fork and the feminine spoon and is trying to blur gender lines in society.
16.
Someone once said.
“But I don’t want to put the bag of aquatic snails inside the fish tank, they might drown!”
That someone was me.
Past me is dumb.
17.
someone tried to convince me that snakes don’t have bones. I showed him some pictures of snake skeletons and he said “yeah they have ribs, not bones”
18.
It’s not cheating if you don’t love the person
19.
‘Can’t we just exterminate all bacteria and viruses so we can’t get sick anymore?’
Literally heard someone say this in Microbiology class. MICROBIOLOGY CLASS!
20.
That chickens have no brains. Not that they are stupid. That a chicken literally does not have a brain.
