Toddlers might find anything complain about every time. Sometimes they are nerve-wracking but mostly funny. A Reddit user asked ”Whats the best “toddler complaint” you’ve ever gotten?” and here are 40 funny complaints by toddlers.
After a couple slices of pizza, 3 year old bursts into tears and says:
“My mouth wants more but my tummy doesn’t!”
Me too, kid. Me too.
Demanded to know how to say “Hola in Spanish” would not accept that hola was already Spanish, cried for hours
Toddler & I are in the truck for a 3-hour, mostly freeway trip. Toddler asks if she can have her window down. Begs. Says pretty please. Whines that she NEEDS the window down. Answer is no… we’re going 70 mph for the next few hours. Thus begins the wailing! She cries, and cries… and cries. The window’s not going down, I’m tuning her out, no problem, the music is on, I’m just driving and life is good.
After probably 45 minutes of this, she slows down, gulps a few times, and in a tremulous voice asks, “Mommy, why am I crying?”
I laughed so hard I nearly ran off the road. If you don’t remember, I’m not telling you, Kid.
My toddler got mad that her poop came out in two pieces instead of one. She accused my husband of cutting it while she wasn’t looking.
5yo: “You’re old!”.
Me: “I’m not that old (with a slight tone of indignation). How old do you think I am?”.
5yo: “The last number.”
My daughter had a complete existential breakdown one day when she found out that she was going to have to pee every day of her life
IDK if this is too gross, but when my son was 3, he had a tummy bug and came to me crying that his “butt threw up”
I was a restaurant server one night when a family came in. Normally, I’m not a fan of kids, but this one girl, like 5 or 6, broke the mold for me. There was a fire in her eyes, but she wasn’t unruly. Just… in the moment.
I walk up to the table after they finish a seafood platter, and I hear the parents loudly saying something they obviously want me to hear: “No, honey, they don’t let you take the lobster shells home.” I could feel invisible elbows jabbing me in the ribs with their glances. Before I open my mouth to back up their story, she huffs and says-
“Well, can I at least keep the eyeballs?!”
And then proceeds to hold up a fork with the lobsters eyes impaled on to the ends of the outside prongs, like a war chieftain with the head of an enemy.
When my daughter was three, I told her to stop trying to draw on the dog with crayons. She threw the crayon on the floor, looked me dead in the eye and yelled, “Daddy, you’re ruining my life!”
My kid hates it when I dance (which is understandable, as I’m very white)
He was about two, I was holding him, grooving along to something.
He looks me in the eye, and goes “Daddy no sing!”
“I’m not singing, I’m dancing!”
“Daddy don’t sing!”
Him, in tears: “Don’t sing with your feet!”