In high school one of my teachers was having a disagreement with a student. I can’t remember what it was about but finally the teacher ask him if she wanted her to call his mother. The student replies, “do it then. My mama will agree with me too.” The teacher then asks him to leave her class. He goes, “you know what I’m gonna call my mom for you.” He then whips out his cell phone and calls his mom on speaker. “Hey, ma, this teacher want to talk to you.”
The whole class just lost it.
In HS our Functions and Relations teacher would always start to say something, forget it and say, “I lost my train of thought.” Well one day a buddy of mine replies, “It’s okay sir, there were no important passengers onboard.”
Edit: For those who are asking, Functions and relations is a subset of finite math. Think of an entire course on the quadratic equation and its various off shoots.
Back when I taught first grade, we were doing a writing assignment about Thanksgiving. The kids had to draw a picture of their family celebrating Thanksgiving, and then write about it. One little girl drew the table and chairs, and that was all. I knew she just didn’t feel like doing the work, so I tried to prompt her. I asked where the food and her family were, and she snapped right back with, “They’re washing the dishes.” Had to give her credit for coming up with a logical argument for not doing the work!
Our teacher was teaching us about the States of Matter, solid liquid and gas.
He was talking about how a solid you can break into littler pieces, but how you can’t do the same to liquids or gases! So I blurt out “But you can break wind.”
I still talk to that teacher and he says that was the best part of his teaching career. This was in 6th grade.
Not a teacher, but this happened in an upper level French class where you can only speak French. If you speak English, the teacher scolds you in French. My friend walked in a few minutes late for a quiz, and wasn’t allowed to take it. My friend looked at the teacher and said (in english) “That’s bulls**t.” The teacher looked back angrily and said (also in english) “What did you just say?” My friend: “En Français Monsieur.” He got kicked out of the class.
This isn’t going to be as good as when spoken out loud, but I had a friend who got into an arguement with their teacher about the whole “I” before “E” except after “C” thing (and if it sounds like an “A” it’s “ei”)
My friend told his teacher that wasn’t always true. So she got defensive and started going off about her lit degree and how she knows more than him.
His response was, “No, seriously, there are some weird words where that rule doesn’t apply”
She kepts saying that it wasn’t true and he kept saying the same thing over and over.
“There are some weird words where that doesn’t apply”
He did this like 5 times and finally she snapped and yelled “LIKE WHAT?”
He just yells “WEIRD!!!”
She permanently kicked him out of her class for being a smart ass
A kid mocked me when I said, “don’t do that.” I started to yell at him and he said, “no man, that’s a song.” He then spontaneously came up with a rap song called “don’t do that” and his friends started making beats. I was no longer mad.
Well this one was during coaching classes for entrance exams.
The maths teacher reduced a given problem to a simpler form and challenged the students “So this expression doesn’t fit any of the given standard forms for us to find the particular integral. So what do you propose we do?”
A kid from the back shouted “The next question”
My aunt is a kindergarten teacher. She saw a kid carrying another kid on his back. She told them to not do that because they wouldn’t grow. Then the kid on top ask her: ” And who did you carried? ”. My aunt is 1.54m tall.
Not a teacher, but witnessed as student.
We had a substitute who was leafing through the yearbook and got to the senior superlatives.
Our school mascot was the eagles. She started reading some if then aloud and said. “Oh that’s nice, Sara most school spirited” a student answered back “Yeah, because she’s always spread eagle”.
The substitute couldn’t keep from laughing, as much as she tried not to.