A TikTok user asked ‘What’s the most benign and mundane but absolutely unhinged thing you started doing during the pandemic?’ and here are 36 of the funniest responses.
1.
The whole family is in on it like a communal descent into madness. We have a plastic duck. Her name is Martha. We move her around the house and then act like she got there on her own.
2.
I learned what all the birds mean according to native mythology and now I use them to predict the weather.
3.
So for the past six months, every night I go down to the Mississippi River and I stare at the huge container ships that go by. And then just like any date, I have to google them. So I log on to marinetraffic.com to see where they’re coming from or going to. And they’re all coming from really exotic places like Hamburg, the Cape of Good Hope, or Trenton, New Jersey – just, like, really cool places that we can’t go to right now. I’m in so deep that now I’ve read three nonfiction books about container ships.
4.
This took me year and a half.
5.
I bought my cat and I matching red silk robes and I put them on us on Sundays to watch true crime shows.
6.
I found this thing online about this person who kept feeding the neighborhood crows and eventually they would start to bring her gifts like little bottle caps or shiny things. And I’ve been walking around the neighborhood a lot so I figured, why not? So I just kept buying huge bags of peanuts to bring with me on my walks. And then, anytime I’d see a crow, I’d throw out handfuls of peanuts through the neighborhood. Literally just in the hopes they’ll start bringing me garbage gifts.
I don’t know where the drop location is supposed to be. I don’t know if they’re supposed to figure out where my house is. Although, I have also started leaving peanuts around my house so they can maybe connect the dots. Because of this, I’ve become crazy tuned into the sound of crow calls. So yeah, it’s been a pretty special time for me and the neighborhood creatures.
7.
I tell my dog everything about my life. And when I feel like she has done her fair share of emotional labor for me, I go to my rabbit and I tell him stuff as well.
8.
There’s a group of squirrels that bury their nuts in my little backyard. I gave them all names, back stories and a clan rivalry.
It’s been pretty cold and I haven’t seen them for a couple months and I really miss them…except Jason. That little fucker used to come around at 4 p.m. everyday and dig up the other squirrels nuts. But I caught on real quick. I’m watching you, Jason
9.
Every night at sunset I eat a pickle, and it’s my sunset pickle.
10.
Everytime I go to the beach to walk my dog, I collect either rocks, sticks or beach glass. Here’s my collection.
