1. A great start to the day
2. A fast, but not the most pleasant, way to cut your beard
3. This is just as bad as dropping your spoon into your soup.
4. The owner of this shoe is not having the best day.
5. “I was taking my driving exam.”
6. “My hotel room comes with this view.”
7. “Guess I’m not getting my mail today.”
8. Are you kidding me?
9. “Was helping my mom clean out the attic. The attic had other plans for me.”
10. “Forgot to remove the crock pot from the top of my toaster oven after I made dinner last night.”
11. “A feather pillow exploded in my washing machine.”
12. My onion has two-layers of skin.