Lying flat on your back is the best way to survive a falling elevator
If you ever get carjacked and they tell you to drive, crash the car into the nearby road or intersection. Most likely they won’t be wearing their seatbelts. So when you crash the car they will get injured and you can take this chance to get out of the car and run like hell.
If your hair suddenly stands up on end, duck and cover. You’re about to be struck by lightning.
If you ever feel like you are going to throw up, start humming. It’s nearly impossible to gag while you are humming.
If you ever find yourself being dragged underwater by an alligator shove your fingers into its nose. This breaks the seal alligators need to keep water out of their airways and will make them release you immediately.
If you ever fall off of the edge of the subway platform and onto the tracks don’t waste your time trying crawl back up. There is a crawl space built to go underneath in case this happens.
Do not drink the milk of brown coconuts. They contain oils that cause dehydration. So, you should drink the milk of green coconuts instead.
Most drunk driving deaths occur on Saturdays between 1:00 and 3:00 a.m. Avoid roads during these times if you can help it.
No matter how thirsty you are, do not eat large amounts of snow. Too much cold ice in your stomach can cause you to die of hypothermia. Melt the ice and then drink it.
If a deer is running across the road it’s better to hit it than swerve and run into a ditch. If there is a moose in the middle of the road swerve and run into a ditch. Hitting a moose is like running into a brick wall