21.
Told me I was too anxious and depressed, and I just needed to be “happy” lol I was on birth control for him too (refused to wear a condom) which caused a lot of these mental health issues. After breaking up, got off the pill + the lack of his presence in my life made me significantly happier. Also, he told me I couldn’t take a joke even though his “jokes” were degrading and humiliating me in front of his friends.
22.
The way I walk (I “walk too loudly”) and the way my face looks when I read books. Apparently, I was supposed to smile all the time.
Just having a nice smile reading All Quiet on the Western Front.
23.
He wanted me to distance myself from my family mainly because he wasn’t close to his family and didn’t have that kind of support.
He picked me up on Thanksgiving to have lunch with his mom. He promised we would go together to my family’s Thanksgiving at dinner. Evening rolled around and he proclaimed he was too tired to go and refused to drive me the whole 25 minutes to my grandpa’s house. When I didn’t show up my family freaked out and my siblings came to get me. My brother asked my boyfriend what happened and he couldn’t come up with an answer other than he was tired. Later he posted online my brother tried to fight him haha. Dumped him that night! I would have left him sooner, but I was young and dumb!
24.
He didn’t want me to cry. Ever. “The women in my family would never cry unless their arm was being sawed off at the time.” Twenty some years later I realized he should have married his sister
25.
Him: You shouldn’t wear makeup;
Me: Why, what’s the problem? Lots of women wear makeup;
Him: My mom doesn’t
26.
My college boyfriend said I could “stand to lose a few”. I wish he could see me now..I am so much fatter lol. No, but really I looked great and he was a dweeb.
27.
“You’re too nice, you need to stop that.” Said every time I gave money or food to a panhandler or charity, any time I expressed compassion for someone who wasn’t him, and especially when we were watching George W Bush’s invasion of Iraq and I was horrified at all the Iraqi people dying.
28.
He thought my laugh could be more “ladylike,” because as long as I had a witch cackle he wouldn’t “be able to take me anywhere high-class.”
He was flat broke at the time and I was paying for everything. I also sound different depending on how hard I’m laughing, so it’s not like I had to break out the witch laugh at all these imaginary restaurants and balls we were totally going to attend. Didn’t matter, he wanted me to train myself out of it anyway
29.
My last partner tried to make me change my willingness to be cheated on. She thought I should be “open to the idea”
30.
My body.
I’m 5’5 and naturally thin, but I didn’t have muscle at the time. I had been looking to start going to the gym though, so I agreed to go with her. I’d always played sports so I looked forward to being active again. I wanted to gain strength.
She had a gym addiction and her type was pretty much strictly fit people. She’s straight up said she wouldn’t date an overweight/fat person because they wouldn’t be “healthy” (disgusting mindset). She was pretty much trying to mold me to fit her “type” exactly. Including down to my diet which I had to tell her outright to shut the f**k up about what I ate (You can pry ice cream out of my cold, dead hands).
That relationship did not last long. But I feel very vindicated in the fact that I reached her fitness goals in half the time she did just because I genuinely enjoy working out. It helps my mood and ADHD symptoms.
I couldn’t care less what I look like as long as my body feels healthy and strong. I have a 4 pack of abs and hella strength now. And my current beautiful, thick, strong af girlfriend very much loves my body for what it is regardless of whether it’s “fit” or not.
